Thinking of entering into some writing contests…

Akin to that last post…

Submission prices aren’t steep, I can fork over about $15 to $20. Plus the prize money is all kinds of WOW plus publication is great for new writers…but that’s is IF I win. 

There are also the facts of picking the right contests to enter, not to mention the right stories for submission. And oh, yeah, actually sitting down mapping out and writing some of those stories. Not to mention that little constant finger poke called “doubt”.  

I’ve got two “fully realized” stories (aka 3rd draft stories), but I need some more in the pool, plus I need to stop doubting myself. That’s the kicker right there…doubt.  It’s my bully. 

Still this is all new ground for me to tread, and it’s scary, but fun.

So…pray, write, write, write, and dive in I shall. 

You know…

…I’m a real ass for laughing about Jason Russell and his “masturbation” episode.

Obviously (from those videos) and from further info he’s got some issues. Sure a naked guy humping the street, snapping his fingers and switching looks funny, and Russell and his whole KONY 2012 ‘mission’ was shady at best, not to mention his overall character is unsavory (he seems like a jerk). Still IF he is really suffering from a mental breakdown/mental issues—-that shit is NOT FUNNY. At all.   

To me, we take mental illness in this society way too lightly. We chortle, nervous laughter, say ‘what a whack job’, tweet some snark, and turn our heads. I’m guilty of this myself, not thinking that one of the worst things is losing your mind, as no one will help you—and it’s true. As much as we observe days and months to diseases like cancer and causes like bullying, mental illness needs the same treatment, the same care and to me, it never gets it.

I’ve seen the illness up close. One of best friends from college is manic depressive, and I remember the times where she was going manic. She is a sweet, smart, creative, and funny girl, yet she morphed into another person when she was in her manic states. She was not in her right mind and doing things that would just blow your mind and make you feel horrid being an audience to it. The stories I could tell…

Mental illness is no laughing matter no matter who has it, and yet we do it anyways. Why? I’ll never know.

I’m not trying to guilt anyone into believing otherwise. Laugh if you want to. Think mental illness is an excuse tacked onto White people to sugar coat their unsavory actions. True, but I’m thinking about the bigger picture. About people I know, artists I’ve admired, even myself when I was going through some serious depression issues, and how mental decline is nothing to be making snarky comments or making Twitter trending topics about. 

So I’m eating my piping-hot-out-of-the-oven crow pie. Not just for Russell, but for all people who are suffering from mental illness and don’t get help, just a bunch of people laughing and not taking things seriously when the signs first crop up.  

I loathe calling customer service…

…let’s see how long this is going to take…what country I’ll really be calling…and what won’t get fixed. 

A Thought Process About That Sticky Awkward Black Girl Situation….

Yes I’m opening my big mouth again. *Le sigh* By now most have heard what’s going on with Awkward Black Girl and the Crunk Feminist Collective. I hadn’t seen THE episodes where “tranny bitch” and “no lesbo” were used, till last night and I’m STILL straddled on my opinions about their usage and about the art and discourse it can take, as I can see it from both sides. So who is right and who is wrong? Some thoughts (and whoops it’s LONG): 

• What may not be offensive to you might be offensive to others (and vice versa), and you have to be prepared for that whenever you’re discussing topics like race and sexuality. So call me stupid, but I learned that “tranny” is yet another word you can’t say unless you’re asking to get an angry open letter sent to you. Then again, I’ve heard a lot of my gay pals use it, and I’ve heard it used on various TV shows and movies. Still it doesn’t mean that just because a certain community uses the word, that EVERYONE is allowed to use it in that same context and be hunky dory with it. See the mis-handlings of the “N-Word” and the time I used “gypped” without realizing it’s weight. So on that level, I can understand why the CFC got itchy about it and spoke out to bring awareness to it. They had every right to.   
• On that note, why the focus on “tranny”? “Bitch” and “ho” is used a gabillion times on the show…so it’s strange that CFC, as fast forward feminists as they seem to be, didn’t get in knots about that. Just curious…
• The “no lesbo” phrase—-once again, just because I’ve heard gay friends use it doesn’t mean that someone will accept it when it’s spoken by those who aren’t gay.  
• The political correctness argument—-I won’t get into it (but this great article does), but I’m still thinking that comedy IS meant to offend people as it is a comic’s reflections on society. On ABG, there are lots of put-downs related to specific groups. It has even jabbed at some things about people like me—-mixed Blacks. Like she said in the same episode, “Mulatto babies are overrated”. I chuckled, because I’m secure enough with myself to know that it’s a joke and I’m not really overrated (even though I can’t stand the word “mulatto”, but eh). Everyone is a target when it comes to comedy, it’s how you handle it that makes the difference. Thus, you can’t fashion or edit a comic sketch to make everybody who listens to it be happy—-life is not like that, you can’t edit it and assume someone is going to be sensitive towards you 24/7 to make things plush for you. Damn, if life was like that we’d be in Care Bears Land. Still you can take a joke and the focus of that joke too far. I recently watched a Recess episode (what? Recess had some deep ass topics in guise of a cartoon—get knowledge) about “when is it a joke and when it just assholery?” Watch it here and decide for youself. 
• On the creative slant, I’m sort on Issa’s side on this, considering that what Awkward Black Girl is is a satire that is chock-filled with caricatures. I’m also believing that some people don’t realize that ABG IS a satire because of the attitudes I’ve seen towards this current issue. As a writer myself, there are characters that I have created that are offensive—-bigots, buffoons, walking stereotypes—-you name it—-yet it doesn’t mean that I, the writer, think the way my characters think. No, I’m showing that there ARE people out there like that, and that when they run into my other characters who aren’t like them there is a delicious conflict—-which makes a story. You can just look at the characters on ABG and see the satire—-The over-aggressive religious fiend, the “angry Black woman” of the Nina character, the Steve Urkel nerdy A, the over zealous racially insensitive but harmless White boss. Hell, even J’s friend, CeCe is racially insensitive. These characters are Issa’s creation—-yet it doesn’t mean she agrees with each thing they say and she’s showing how people are, that people WILL throw around “tranny bitch” without batting an eye and that we are all, sadly, racist and prejudice in our own ways. 
• Remember that art is subjective…and it will be taken a myriad of ways and clothed in different fashions and it’s up to the viewer to make their own opinions about it. Some days some art looks/sounds racist/prejudice—-other days it’s not. I think we should be mindful of that and see it not just from our own perspective but from others. 

hold it now. HIT IT.: An open letter to Tyler Perry

black-culture:

Dear Mr. Perry,

Let me begin by congratulating you on your massive success. It is truly commendable to overcome the obstacles you have—molestation, poverty, abuse and homelessness—to becoming the highest paid man in entertainment. If nothing else, your story of triumph is…

While she makes some great and valid points that I wholeheartedly agree with as a woman of color…it’s 2011—-are we STILL writing “Dear Tyler Perry” letters? Or are we writing them now for pageviews and to rack up comments because we have nothing else to criticize? It feels so 2008 to me to be dissing TP for the umpteenth time. He’s still getting the money, he’s still making movies, people are still flocking to see his movies, and he’s still hiring the Black actors who need the work. I’ve decided that hating Tyler Perry takes away from my grind, not to mention, he can’t please every single Black woman out there and make the perfect characters we all wish him to do.

As someone who aspires as a fiction writer, if every single character is similar in a book—-there is no story because characters drive a story, not to mention, it’s hella boring to read. Who wants to read about perfect people with perfect lives?Some characters I’ve written were based on people I know and those people I didn’t agree with their actions or their personalities. They didn’t reflect me, they just made for compelling characters because they contrasted well with the characters I did agree with. Hell, Charles Dickens’ characters were caricatures, and he caught flack for it too, but he always managed to tell a story—and that’s the point when you’re telling a story. Perry, in his own haphazard way, tells a story—-and why fault that? Remember art, whether if it’s good or bad, is subjective—-not everyone is going to see it YOUR way. 

And let’s be honest, there ARE people out there who are walking stereotypes. There ARE some Black women who are like that (and sadly some people I know). Women who beg and whine for a man, who believe a man will cure every single damn thing, who have chips on their shoulders, who act foolish on a day-to-day basis…come on, let’s be real. Not every Black woman is an honest to goodness saint who has her shit together. Not every Black woman is a Michelle Obama or a Beyonce. True, TP showcases his stereotypes in abundance and there are times where he does need to be called out for what he projects through his films because it paints a broad ugly picture of Black women to others, but I feel they aren’t a reflection of me, and I damn well know my own self to not have to rely on a film or a character in a book to define myself, my race, my culture. 

Like someone mentioned in the comments to this piece—-Spike Lee is NOT going to tell a Black woman’s story and we shouldn’t expect him or any other director/storyteller to ‘save us’ from the peril of TP. A Black woman is going to have to do it and sadly, she hasn’t been given the chance—-but like Black women usually are, we have to make lemonade with the lemons that get thrown at us, and that’s just what has got to be done. To play a broken record, it’s time we stop wasting words on Tyler Perry and begin to rely on ourselves utilize those words, that energy to write OUR stories, from OUR viewpoints.

B-Style: Japanese Youth Reject Convention In The Pursuit Of Blackness

B-Style, a trend that celebrates African American pop/hip-hop culture, has young Japanese gals rejecting conventional practices of preserving the pallor of their skin for weekly trips to the tanning salons, braids and other accoutrements of hip-hoppery.

This is really strange….you wanna be flattered, but if you read the piece, they are latching onto a stereotype of the Black culture. These girls really have it all wrong and are being blindly insensitive about it. Black culture is not just hip-hop, there is a lot more to it than that. I bet if you asked these girls about Black American History, they wouldn’t know a damn thing…hell, even some Black people don’t even know about their own history.

The tanning portion reminds me of an awkward moment with my college roommate. She was a Romanian and told me one day that she was going tanning to “get my color”. I told her, “Uh, you know with that ‘color’ I have you get the racism…I don’t think you want that do you?” She looked at me like I grew three heads. Pure ignorance. 

Still, I really dislike when people act like a culture is a ‘trend’ something that you can take on and off when the day is over—-I was born with this skin, this color, and my genetics. I can’t ‘take it off’ when it’s not in fashion anymore.

“queen of starting over”…Literally

My computer decided to crash on me this week. So about four years worth of music and photos are wiped out *whimpers* Luckily, I was able to salvage some of my major writings onto a flash drive and am now using my folks computer. So my literary bubble isn’t burst. *pumps fist* Just that some articles I had written and some blog drafts are wiped out. *eyeroll* It just sucks that in this day, our livlihoods are on a machine and that we put faith into machines and tools that break after so many years of “asisting” us—-it shouldn’t be like that, but it is. That’s the bitch about being raised in the tech/Internet generation you are at times shackled to it.

My Tumblr name is apt. It’s sometimes good just to ‘start over’ and ‘start over’ I shall, as I feel I do it often. The computer was old, had it in college, and it got some virus on it, thus it’s time to get a new one and just ‘start over’ (just that I HATE I lost all those Janet Jackson and Mariah Carey rare tracks and some hard-to-find-out-of-print albums…$&#!). I also hate that money is tight right now so investing in a new computer is not something that pleases me, but getting my computer repaired costs just as much as getting a brand new one so… *shrugs shoulders*

It could be worse, I mean, have you seen the tornadoes going around? Thanking my lucky stars every day that computer crashings and lost Janet Jackson rarities MP3’s are the least of my “problems”.  

Hanging On String (Contemplating)…

Today, out of nowhere, I thought of reconsidering the idea to go to grad school and getting my MA in journalism. I know. Scary, since grad schools have a reputation now of being a vacuum cleaner of souls and wallets. Especially in today’s day and age where going back to school just means the loan sheets are going to be as tall as a sweeping skyscraper and I’ll be a bag of bones with a glitter walking cane by the time I pay them all off.

Still, I have this passion to do more within a field I love and I would like to do it more where I’m learning and getting the hands-on I slightly got in college and what I’m definitely not getting here in my hometown, which is limited in the journalism/writing field. I want to have that passion back, and I’m not getting anywhere by getting rejections (“you need more experience” they say…well how can I fucking gain it when you reject me?? And also a college degree and time working for my college paper isn’t enough? What do I have to do? Juggle pies??). Plus, after six months at home, hearing my mother complain about every freaking thing is jarring me and I feel like I’m 15 years old again, and just sitting here watching people come and go and hearing their success stories. Where is my success story? When will it happen? Not my time yet, I guess.

Well, I got the 3.0 GPA. I have the recommendations.

I need to take the test. I need to bulk up my writing portfolio, but that can be done since I write every single day. And I definitely need the money.

I also believe I can do it, but still…is it worth it to even throw the idea of going back to school into the pot?

At the moment, I’m still looking for a smaller non-journalistic job to gather a paycheck so I can execute all these good ideas and things, and I’m thinking another (and better) internship would be a more reasonable option than going back to school…but I’m just putting all these things on the table and contemplating.